How to Get Back Up Again

Life has a funny way of knocking us down.  We can put on the mask that everything is OK outwardly when secretly we are defeated inwardly just like a boxer who has been knocked out.

I am not sure what has knocked you down, whether it has been an illness, a financial struggle, issues with your kids, low self esteem, divorce, relationship problems, an addiction or something else but all I know is that it is time to get back up again.

You were never created to live depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or unworthy. You were created to be victorious.  It is not the mountain that you need to conquer but yourself.

“He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.”

Did you know that the opposite of depression isn’t happiness.  The opposite of depression is resilience, it is the ability to bounce back after your failure’s and rejections.  It is the courage to get back up again and continue.

Building resilience isn’t about always looking on the bright side and pushing away negative emotions, but rather allowing yourself to experience what you are feeling in any given situation, whether it’s good or bad,
“The resilient person doesn’t stay stuck in the negative emotions, but instead let’s them sit side by side with other feelings, “So they may feel ‘I’m sad about this,’ they’re also prone to thinking, ‘but I’m grateful about this.’”

So maybe it is time to see your setback and failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. Maybe it is time to open up your heart and your mind again and live a create a HAPPY DAY.

Love Heather


Are you HAPPY?

Today I wanted to talk to you about happiness, everybody just wants to be happy but we can actually block our own happiness by focusing on what we don’t have.  When we focus on all the things that are missing from our life like a partner, a slim body, a job that we love we are ultimately postponing our happiness.  The more we search for happiness the more frustrated we will become, you see happiness is actually a state of mind, it is about being present (living in the moment) and being grateful for all the things that you have now.  It is also about accepting life for what it is rather than what you think it should be.  Our mind has a habit of focusing on the past or worrying about the future and all the time making us miss the present moment.  How many goals do you set for yourself?  You see I used to set goals and every-time I achieved them the happiness feeling last for about 10 mins, and then I was onto my next goal.  But I have had to learn that happiness is a decision that I have to make everyday, regardless of my circumstances.  I needed to learn to be grateful, I needed to learn to be happy but I needed to learn that I was the only one that could take personal responsibility for my own inner world.  HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB.  You cannot put your keys to your happiness in someone else’s pocket so if you are expecting a relationship or a job to make you happy you will be greatly disappointed. Like attracts like and if you are not happy within yourself you won’t be happy with someone else.  So today my challenge to you is to let go of all the things that are making you unhappy, it could be a bad habit, a way of thinking or maybe even your attitude. Don’t you think it is time to change?  Start a gratitude diary and focus on all the things that you have to be grateful about because the more you fill your mind with good things the less negativity will be able to get in. SO ALLOW HAPPINESS.

How do emotions effect on chronic pain?



 Whether and how do emotions effect on chronic pain?

Dr. Susan Babel is a psychologist who specializes in depression caused by trauma, emotions does have major impact.

For “Psychology Today” Dr. Babel says – “Researches shows that chronic pain can be caused not only by physical injury but also by emotional stress. Physical pain is functioning in a way that warns the person that it still has some work to finish.

  • Head– we face ourselves daily with stress, so that makes basically number one culprit that causes headaches and migraine. If one person suffers from chronic headaches, it should set aside a little bit and take some time for itself. Not just one day but every single one. If you want to reduce the pain you better release your body from stress.
  • Neck– the pain in the neck signifies need for forgiveness. It may be another person’s forgiveness or the act of forgiving yourself. In order to successfully win over this pain, it is important to think about the things you want for yourself and the things you want from others.
  • Shoulders– pain in shoulders is a sign that one person carries heavy emotional burden. In fact they carry themselves. Try to find ways that could solve this emotional problem or share it with close friends or family.
  • Upper back– as a lack of emotional support can be manifested the pain in the upper back. The person is not feeling appreciated or respected enough or hides its feelings of love. If you are in a relationship, maybe you should discuss your feelings with your partner. If you are single then it is time to take measures to change the status.
  • Lower back– Financial concerns are the most common indicator of pain in the lower back. Focus more on the management and organization. Do not put your money on financial planner and ask for the deserved raise.
  • Elbow– pain in the hands and forearms is sign for lack of flexibility. This is usually caused by resistance of natural changes by one person. The struggle only brings problems.
  • Hands– Pain in the hands may be result as a lack of friends. You might think it difficult to try expand your circle of friends but you should do this often try for example with your colleagues. Spend more time meeting new people.
  • Hips– fear of change and the resettlement of waiting or making big decision can cause pain in the hips. Make the change you need to make and stick to the end with it.
  • Knees– pain in the knee can mean that one person has a high opinion of himself. Spend some time volunteering and put smiles on other people faces.
  • Calves– emotional stress, anxiety, tension or jealousy are common causes of pain in the calves. Maybe it is time to get rid of the things that cause your stress daily.
  • Ankles– If the person needs more pleasure in its life, sore ankles appear. This is a sign to wake up love life.
  • Feet– depression can be major culprit for the pain in the feet. Severe depression is hard to defend, but there are several things that you should hit it back. Adopt a pet perhaps or find something that will fulfil your joy and satisfaction

Learn to Love Yourself

One of the hardest things which I have had to learn, was to love and accept myself unconditionally.  If you were anything like me you will be able to relate to this blog.  You see the unhealthy relationship that the majority of us have within ourselves is really the one dynamic that keeps us at war inside ourselves, constantly feeling hurt, angry, powerless, anxious, guilty, ashamed, stressed, unhappy, unhealthy and unsatisfied because we know in the past we have not related to ourselves with the unconditional love, kindness, and compassion that we both desire and deserve.

What we need to do is make loving ourselves a “TOP PRIORITY”.  We need to have a relationship with ourselves based on unconditional love, kindness and compassion.

How we talk inwardly to ourselves is a good place to start.   If you are struggling with negative self talk I would suggest that you start to challenge this type of talk.  Go to your computer screen, pull up a word document and write down all the things you are saying to yourself.  Would you talk to your best friend like that? If the answer is NO then REPLACE the talk with POSITIVE.  You will notice that you start to feel alot more happier when you are being kind to your mind.


In order to change we must first awaken… awaken from a way of life that no longer serves us, and to become aware of a better way of life and a better way of thinking. To know there is more…to feel more and to be more: to not just simply exist in life, but, to become alive, because existing just isn’t enough anymore.

So my advice to you today is to let go of what is no longer serving you anymore. x


The Power of Beliefs: How Our Meanings Decide Our Destiny

What is a belief? It’s a feeling of certainty about what something means. The challenge is that most of our beliefs are generalizations about our past, based on our interpretations of painful and pleasurable experiences.

The challenge is, most of us do not consciously decide what we’re going to believe. Instead, often our beliefs are misinterpretations of past events. How do ideas turn into beliefs? Think of an idea like a tabletop with no legs. Without any legs, the tabletop won’t even stand up by itself. Belief, on the other hand, has legs. To believe something, you have references to support the idea—specific experiences that back up the belief. These are the legs that make your tabletop solid and that make you certain about your beliefs. For example, if you believe you’re extremely intelligent, you likely have a lot of references to back it up. Maybe you did well in school, people always tell you how smart you are, you catch onto things quickly, etc. You can find experiences to back up almost any belief. The key is to make sure that you’re consciously aware of the beliefs you’re creating. If they don’t empower you, change them.

All personal breakthroughs begin with a change in beliefs. The moment we begin to honestly question our beliefs and the experiences we assign to them, we no longer feel absolutely certain about them. This opens the door to replacing your old, disempowering beliefs with new beliefs that support you in the direction you want to go.

If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things other people are certain are impossible.

Here are ten examples of empowering beliefs to try on:

1. The past does not equal the future

2. If I am committed I will find a way

3. I am good enough

4. I can do anything I set my mind to

5. I let go and trust in the process of life

6. With God all things are possible

7. I love and accept myself

8. I NOW take responsibility for my health and happiness.

9. No person, place or thing has any hold over me because I am the only thinker in my mind.  I choose to be free

10. I am unstoppable.

 “Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.”

So if you are creating something that is destroying you, chances are you are running with a false belief and only you have the power within you to change it.


What Matter’s Most………………

Is how you see yourself.  All to often we go through life criticizing, beating ourselves up, feeling guilty, comparing ourselves to others and being way to hard on ourselves.

So today I have invented a new therapy it is called BE KIND TO YOUR MIND.  You are not allowed to speak negative comments about yourself to anyone and you have to STOP beating yourself up,  WHAT PURPOSE IS IT SERVING ANYHOW?

Instead you have to start treating yourself like you would your own best friend. All to often we are aligned with our inner critic (aka CRAZY MONKEY)and it is time to become aligned with our inner cheerleader.  Someone who is there with words of encouragement, someone who loves and accepts you unconditionally and someone who is looking at all your positive qualities.  How different would your life have been, if you had been aligned with your inner cheerleader?

We need to start taking responsibility for our inner world and being kind to ourselves, WHY?  Because the more kindness we can display to ourselves, the more overflow we can then share with others.  When you are empty on love and kindness you may find yourself blaming others for your problems, be holding onto the pain from your past and most likely have acquired a negative coping strategy for suppressing this deep void inside.

So today it is time to change the course of your life forever just by swapping your inner critic with your inner cheerleader.

Remember Your own soul (mind, will, emotions) is nourished when you are being kind.

So what are you waiting for…………………….

Recovering From Low Self-Esteem

As we go through life, we record our memories and our interpretations, though not necessarily the facts surrounding those memories. From these countless recollections, we have the makings of a movie of our life. Our mind thinks in much the same way as a DVD works — it rewinds and replays past events. This analogy can help explain how we form views of ourself, and how that view is the basis for our behaviour.

Family Environments Influence Self-Esteem

A child’s view of herself begins to form as soon as the child is born. Based on the things she is told, the specific situations she experiences, and how she is treated, a picture of her “self” evolves. If she is praised and encouraged, she likely begins to develop healthy self-esteem: if, however, she is consistently criticized, ridiculed, or told she can’t do things right, she begins to question her competency and adequacy. If her feelings are ignored she begins to feel unimportant; if she is shamed, she starts to feel unworthy.

For people with low self esteem their environment may have caused them to doubt there adequacy and competence when they were just a child. Discouraging remarks, ridicule, and criticism set the stage for the movie of their life in which the stinging bite of their parents’ disapproval remained a key influence. Desperately needing their support and affirmation, children struggle to prove their self-worth by excelling in music, sports, business, but experience countless situations that tell them they are “not good enough”. The scars remain and now, still confused and filled with doubt, they continue to evaluate themselves on the basis of these numerous past incidents, especially when she again receives criticism.

People with low self-esteem have believed the worst about themselves so strongly and for so long that they readily discard any feedback that contradicts their belief. They are unable to trust compliments and praise and often unknowingly twist such comments to mean the opposite. Overly self-conscious, they are easily embarrassed when they are the centre of attention.

Who Suffers From Low Self-Esteem?

We may think that those who have LSE are the down-and-out, unsuccessful in their careers and their relationships. This is not necessarily true for people with low self-esteem are present in all walks of life. They are executives, professionals, entrepreneurs, labourers, skilled workers, teachers, clerks, hair dressers, in fact, people from all occupations. They are highly educated and minimally educated. They are male and female, old and young, wealthy and poor; single, coupled, and divorced; they are of all nationalities.Some seek therapy; some do not. Some are aware they have low self-esteem; many are not.

Recovery from Low Self-Esteem

While our situations in life vary, we each have the capacity to alter the course of our lives. We have the ability to become the captain of our own ship, the person who controls the transitions in our lives. We can take steps that will result in restored hope, stimulated motivation, and renewed confidence: steps that will guarantee a fresh outlook for the future and a new outcome for our lives. We can attain skills not yet mastered; we can learn to face our fears; we can set fresh, fulfilling goals and acquire the means to reach those goals. We do not have to continue being held captive by the chain of low self-esteem.

What is required is a desire to change, a longing and willingness to put focused energy into recovering from the devastating effects of LSE. Some will see this need to change as a challenge, a roadblock that impedes their movement but one they can dislodge; for others, this need to change will represent an insurmountable blockade. In truth, we all have the capacity to change if we want it badly enough. It is a choice. Those who do not opt to work toward change will once again be choosing self-defeating behaviours over those that can enhance and better their lives; they will be choosing to remain stifled, enslaved, and miserable. Those who choose to work at improving their lives, who actively work at improving their self-esteem, will reap the rewards; each step towards recovery will break one link in the chain of low self-esteem.

My question to you today, how badly do you want to change? Only you have the power within you to turn a negative self defeating or destructing habit into a positive one.  One that will build you up rather than tear you down.  So make a decision today, right now that it is time you empowered yourself.  Let go of what is holding you back and take a step into the high esteem category, one that is full of unconditional love and acceptance.

Be kind to yourself is the best therapy ever invented and the great news is,  it doesn’t cost you a penny.  So what are you waiting for, start your new life today.